I realize that for most, our semester at CMC ended April 21st. For me, CMC ended May 14th. This was the day I woke up at home, and realized that everyone I had spent the past 4 months with was about a 31 hour drive away, and that was if I don’t stop for gas, eat, or sleep etc. In other words, far away.
It’s a weird feeling. I am glad a can distract myself with the fact that I am leaving the country 9 days from now. But I can’t escape the fact that no one will ever understand what happened at CMC.
Some of my friends have commented that ” I seem different, like I found what I was looking for,” or that “my voice and playing has improved immensely,” and they notice changes, but they will never understand completely.
Most people don’t know what it takes to record an EP, what an EP is, or what it means to be on tour. And those that do, will never understand the details.
It is impossible to explain the highs and lows, the criticism that was out of love, the complements and advice that changed the way we thought, the tour drama, the highs of playing on tour, the fact that we are Christian musicians, surrounded by Christian musicians, (and not necessarily making “Christian” music), and many of us had never found people that understood us on so many levels before.
CMC was indescribable, and changed me more than my semester in Europe ever did. This feeling of “the end” is fresh but also full of hope for the future and new beginnings. I know I need some time to process exactly how I have changed, and how these changes will impact my “normal life.” So, until then.